We all have that “little girl” living inside of us that needs healing. Have you ever noticed that little voice inside that time-travels you back to childhood—consciously or subconsciously? Perhaps it comes out when you take a painting class for the first time in decades. A joyously creative child is rejuvenating your stodgy adult mood. Creativity, astonishment, and wonder are feelings meant for people of all ages to experience and explore—not just children. Tapping into “child-like” feelings and joys can certainly help you get through the challenging parts of adulthood.
On an opposite note, your misunderstood teenager-self comes out when a co-worker doesn’t see eye to eye with you in a big meeting. Is this why you have become so quick to react with anger? Whether your childhood was a remake of “Leave It To Beaver” or was more along the lines of a TV drama, or a mix of both, healing emotional wounds is essential for healing cancer and all other mental and physical health challenges.
Our subconscious reactions are often from what we endured growing up and have yet to process and heal. So as an adult, we sometimes overreact and don’t consciously understand why we do certain things. It is our hurt inner child surfacing and acting out.
A Story of Healing My Inner Child Trauma
In my case, at age 50, I was driving home from an intense therapy session when I started feeling extremely nauseous and dizzy. Right then, in the car, I had a vivid flashback to my early childhood. During the session, my therapists mentioned that I showed consistent behavioral patterns of someone who had been sexually abused. I never in a million years imagined that had happened to me since I had no recollection of it….at all! After calling my mother and my sisters, I learned of an unspoken family secret: my neighbor, who was a convicted pedophile, had abused me from ages 3 to 5.
The news was horrifying and gave me a few big ah-ha moments. One of them was discovering the reason for my deep unconscious belief of shame and male trust issues. All of this sadly led to unhealthy relationships and life choices. My childhood was filled with stress and strife from the damaging effects of parental alcoholism. Like any kid (and adult), I wanted love and attention, so I would wander the neighborhood on my own, looking to belong somewhere.
This discovery was a two-edged sword. One end provided relief of understanding what was driving me subconsciously, but the pain that my wounded little girl had to heal from was quite difficult and devastating. Before this, I thought I had all my emotional wounds figured out and that I was “OK.” Breast cancer sent me another message that I still had work to do, ‘stuff’ to let go of, and more healing to create.
I truly speak from the heart when I say emotional healing of your inner child can be scary and leave you feeling vulnerable. In my book [1], I talk extensively about ways to heal your emotional wounds. It is so important that I made it Essential #4 of The 7 Essentials System® [2], Heal Your Emotional Wounds. We can mature physically, but emotionally we can still be scarred and hopeless children living in an adult body. This can result in depression and unhealthy choices that can lead to a weakened immune system and dis-eases.
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What is Inner Child Work?
Inner child work involves creating a space where your subconscious is allowed to take the lead. As Dr. Trish Phillips puts it, “Inner work is the act of going inside ourselves, to explore our true feelings and parts of us that may have been rejected and labeled as inappropriate or too much by others. By allowing ourselves time to go within, we begin peeling back our everyday coping mechanisms (being avoidant, numbing of our feelings, etc.) and are able to fully accept and integrate our subconscious into consciousness.”
Getting in touch with your inner child helps you go back to physically and emotionally tapping into how you felt during specific events at a specific age.
Through this practice, it is the intention to speak to our inner child through a language that is emotionally based and embodied. Speak to a child rather than intellectual “adult” words and thoughts. Often people find it helpful to talk with their inner child by name like they are a person in the room.
During one of my sessions with my Inner Child work, my therapist had me imagine holding little “Veronique” on my lap and reminding her that she was safe and I would protect her. Inner child therapies can include art therapy, story therapy, EMDR, EFT (tapping), visualization, somatic work, EVOX, and many other ways of healing.
The Learned Stress Response
How we respond to stress – even PTSD – can be a learned habit. As children, we saw how our parents reacted to stress. Some shouted and slammed doors. Others drank to numb the pain and/or withdrew emotionally. Hopefully, you were able to see communication and self-care skills in response to stress.
You likely picked up on your parents’ stress management behaviors and created some deep-seated subconscious beliefs about life. Between conception and the age of 5, our tiny brains functioned at the delta and theta levels. These slower frequencies are our subconscious minds. Our little brains were like sponges, absorbing how we saw our parents managing their stress and lives.
The stress behind cancer development may often begin at a very early age when unresolved traumatic events occur. Those unresolved events create poor coping skills in which adult problems are not dealt with properly. This can lead to feelings of helplessness and despair. Since our mind and body are completely connected, feelings impact your immune system and your body’s ability to heal. Therefore, if we had a hand in subconsciously creating disease in our body, we can invariably be part of healing and improving our health.
Inner Child Healing Tools
Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)
EFT, also known as tapping, is based on the stimulation of acupuncture meridians. Meridians are energetic highways in the body. Like car highways, there can be traffic or even pileups, which block you from getting to where you want to go. EFT gets you and your energy going again by focusing on the emotional aspects of the challenge or issue and helps release old patterns subconsciously.
It is simple and can calm the nervous system and even lessen the effects of trauma, eventually turning them around in a natural yet positive way. It also zeroes in on specific “tapping points” related to these subconscious patterns and emotions. What’s more, once negative emotions such as anger, shame, and sadness are accepted and carefully examined by an individual, the healing can then begin.
A study of more than 130 women found that those with the highest amount of “emotional acceptance” had the lowest rates [5] of cancer-related inflammatory cytokines. In addition, scores for Interleukin-8, a strong biomarker for Breast Cancer, were particularly low in the women with the most emotional acceptance. Wow! Please learn more about EFT/Tapping here [6] and how it affects your gene expression here [7]. Tapping is a wonderful and free tool that anyone can do anywhere.
EMDR
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy (EMDR) sessions are led by psychologists, psychiatrists, and counselors. The process is simple. The practitioner speaks with the client about past events that led to trauma. At the same time, they expose the client to “external stimuli,” eye-related stimuli that produce lateral eye movements. However, the stimuli could also be auditory, such as hand tapping or audio input. Please learn more about EMDR and trauma here [8].
EVOX
EVOX works at the level of thought. It helps individuals uncover and heal subconscious layers of emotional wounds and negative patterns. When you speak into the microphone concerning a specific emotional struggle you are dealing with, it measures the stress response in your voice. It can help change your perceptions, release negative emotional frequencies, stop negative talk, and realize unresolved subconscious patterns. Please learn more about EVOX here [9].
In adulthood, we have a chance to heal our wounded inner child and create the safe, secure inner and outer environments our younger selves always wanted. You CAN do the healing work. You are a breast cancer conqueror after all!
To give you some inspiration to start, please read Laurie Littlefield-Bass’ story with your heart.
[10]“Since the diagnosis in 2017, I am NOT fearing cancer each day for the rest of my life. I have my ups and downs and this work is ongoing but it is done one step at a time!! I have coached in many areas with Dr. V. and Breast Cancer Conqueror since September 2018 when I drove, all by myself, from New Hampshire and attended an in-person Altlanta seminar. After a 2021 retreat in Sarasota, FL, and one on one coaching with De’Ann, I finally am over the FEAR of what will happen next! I now have a plan based on testing, assessing, addressing, and not guessing.
The 7 essentials have helped me on this trip – my husband and I eat healthily and truly make food our medicine. We have been gluten-free and are now dairy-free and eat very little sugar. I’m at my high school weight and feel great! I go to the gym and use my BIOMAT and PEMF mat on a regular basis. Since 2018, I have had a tapping coach. I started this when I returned from that healing diva seminar and we have uncovered MANY wounds so my body is free of those old memories being stuck in my cells.
The numerous supplements are making a difference as evidenced by my recent blood work. It is all magnificent and I have COACH DE’ANN to thank for interpretation and guidance! I cannot wait to do my follow-up RGCC test this April and see those numbers. ALL of this work gives me – Highly Optimistic Positive Energy – HOPE and my husband and I are truly grateful.
BCC has worked with me and provided the confidence I needed to return to and live my life after a breast cancer diagnosis. THANK YOU, DR V, Ginger, De’Ann, Laurie, Jennifer, and Randi!! God Bless. You are an amazing team! CONGRATULATIONS on 10 years of HUGE SUCCESS!!!”